Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings. – Robert Orben
Every speaker has a mouth An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes its filled with wisdom. Sometimes its filled with feet. – Robert Orben
Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If Im not there, I go to work. – Robert Orben
I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it arm around the shoulder humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. Its mean, mean stuff. – Robert Orben
Washington is a place where politicians dont know which way is up and taxes dont know which way is down. – Robert Orben
Older people shouldnt eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. – Robert Orben
Dont think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success. – Robert Orben
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If Im not there, I go to work. – Robert Orben
I got a Valentines Day card from my girl. It said, Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips! Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself. – Robert Orben
If you can laugh together, you can work together. – Robert Orben
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. – Robert Orben
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years. – Robert Orben
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee – or laugh. – Robert Orben
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. – Robert Orben
Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price. – Robert Orben
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket. – Robert Orben
Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected. – Robert Orben
Quit worrying about your health. It will go away. – Robert Orben
To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so. – Robert Orben
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. – Robert Orben
