Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected. – Robert Orben
I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it arm around the shoulder humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. Its mean, mean stuff. – Robert Orben
I got a Valentines Day card from my girl. It said, Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips! Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself. – Robert Orben
Im an off-road racecar driver. And I think every woman in my life has told me thats not a sensible hobby. But when I was growing, even more than I wanted to be funny, I wanted to be a racecar driver. Thats all I thought about. I worked for a race team when I was 15 and I traveled with them. – Dax Shepard