In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. – Mark Twain
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. – Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. – Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. – Mark Twain
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks. – Mark Twain
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. – Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it. – Mark Twain
It is not best that we should all think alike it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races. – Mark Twain
Prosperity is the best protector of principle. – Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy. – Mark Twain
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. – Mark Twain
When angry, count to four when very angry, swear. – Mark Twain
The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say. – Mark Twain
It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain. – Mark Twain
If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile. – Mark Twain
I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. – Mark Twain
I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed — in a modified way — 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance. – Mark Twain
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. – Mark Twain
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. – Mark Twain
We do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves. – Mark Twain
