It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. – Mark Twain
What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he stick in a rut. – Mark Twain
Its no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. – Mark Twain
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence. – Mark Twain
Sometimes, comics will make the observation that its not jokes that are funny, its characters that are funny. And isnt that true! Thats why I always kill jokes. Im terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I cant get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon. – David Mitchell