I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed — in a modified way — 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance. – Mark Twain
He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages. – Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. – Mark Twain
No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live. – Mark Twain
The Germans are the most philosophic people in the world, and the greatest smokers: now I trace their philosophy to their smoking. Smoking has a sedative effect upon the nerves, and enables a man to bear the sorrows of this life (of which every one has his share) not only decently, but dignifiedly. – George Borrow