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Quotes by

George Burns

If its a good script Ill do it. And if its a bad script, and they pay me enough, Ill do it. – George Burns

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything thats down can come up. – George Burns

I cant afford to die Id lose too much money. – George Burns

Dont stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. – George Burns

Look to the future, because that is where youll spend the rest of your life. – George Burns

I look to the future because thats where Im going to spend the rest of my life. – George Burns

Id rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. – George Burns

Im at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. – George Burns

Im very pleased to be here. Lets face it, at my age Im very pleased to be anywhere. – George Burns

If you live to be one hundred, youve got it made. Very few people die past that age. – George Burns

Nice to be here? At my age its nice to be anywhere. – George Burns

You cant help getting older, but you dont have to get old. – George Burns

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle. – George Burns

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. – George Burns

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. – George Burns

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. – George Burns

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. – George Burns

At my age flowers scare me. – George Burns

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. – George Burns

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. – George Burns