If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpensive, they’ll stop making it tomorrow; if it’s all three, they stopped making it yesterday. – Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure. – Murphy’s Law
If there is something you must do and you cannot do it, you cannot do anything else. – Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960
How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person? – François VI de la Rochefoucault
A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist. – Franklin P. Jones
It’s always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped. – Author Unknown
What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea. – Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
An unwatched pot boils immediately. – H.F. Ellis
If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark. – Leopold Fechtner
Anything you lose automatically doubles in value. – Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. – Will Rogers
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. – Author Unknown
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics. – Author Unknown
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. – Author Unknown
Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the bedrooms, where it’s usually too late, and not in the barroom downstairs? – Christopher Morley, Contribution to a Contribution
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. – Grace Hopper
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance. – Author Unknown
It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. – Author Unknown
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. – Author Unknown
If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered. – Edgar Allan Poe
