I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk. – John Marcellus Huston
The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity. – Author Unknown
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. – Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. – W.C. Fields
It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety. – Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, 1856
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. – W.C. Fields
Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord. – Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. K
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully. – Graham Greene
I like liquor — its taste and its effects — and that is just the reason why I never drink it. – Stonewall Jackson
There are two reasons for drinking: one is, when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it…. Prevention is better than cure. – Thomas Love Peacock, Melincourt, 1817
I envy people who drink—at least they know what to blame everything on. – Oscar Levant
No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness — or so good as drink. – Lord Chesterton
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. – Oscar Wilde
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. – Jean Kerr
Hard work, worry and whiskey are the friends of man. – Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)
We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good. – Horace Hutchinson
Drunkenness is temporary suicide. – Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness
Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is. – Philip Rosenthal & Mike Royce, Everybody Loves Raymond, “Not So Fast” (seaso
Sobriety is either the love of health, or an incapacity for debauch. – François VI de la Rochefoucault (1613–1680)
Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle. – Big Bang Theory, “The Agreement Dissection” (season 4, episode 21, original aird
