Theres no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. – Will Rogers
Its a good thing we dont get all the government we pay for. – Will Rogers
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, thats Memoirs. – Will Rogers
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why dont they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. – Will Rogers
Im not a real movie star. Ive still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. – Will Rogers
Everything is funny, as long as its happening to somebody else. – Will Rogers
If I studied all my life, I couldnt think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. – Will Rogers
Be thankful were not getting all the government were paying for. – Will Rogers
Dont gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it dont go up, dont buy it. – Will Rogers
So live that you wouldnt be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. – Will Rogers
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. Thats one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. – Will Rogers
Theres only one thing that can kill the movies, and thats education. – Will Rogers
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time Congress meets. – Will Rogers
We dont seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business? – Will Rogers
An economists guess is liable to be as good as anybody elses. – Will Rogers
Its not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts. – Will Rogers
If you can build a business up big enough, its respectable. – Will Rogers
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, How is the president? – Will Rogers
Do the best you can, and dont take life too serious. – Will Rogers
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you dont let it get the best of you. – Will Rogers
