If you dont like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes. – Mark Twain
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. – Mark Twain
There it is: it doesnt make any difference who we are or what we are, theres always somebody to look down on! somebody to hold in light esteem, somebody to be indifferent about. – Mark Twain
A man can seldom — very, very, seldom — fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy. – Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics. – Mark Twain
Obscurity and competence: That is the life that is worth living. – Mark Twain
If they had not landed there would be some reason for celebrating the fact. – Mark Twain
Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins. – Mark Twain
Accident is the name of the greatest of all inventors. – Mark Twain
It isnt safe to sit in judgment upon another persons illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet. – Mark Twain
Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief. – Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it. About a politician who had recently died – Mark Twain
He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages. – Mark Twain
If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people. – Mark Twain
What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he stick in a rut. – Mark Twain
It is nobler to be good, and it is nobler to teach others to be good — and less trouble! – Mark Twain
No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live. – Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. – Mark Twain
As a thinker and planner the ant is the equal of any savage race of men; as a self-educated specialist in several arts she is the superior of any savage race of men; and in one or two high mental qualities she is above the reach of any man, savage or civilized! – Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. – Mark Twain
