Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame. – Mark Twain
We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground. – Mark Twain
Loyalty to petrified opinions never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world — and never will. – Mark Twain
The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them. – Mark Twain
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them. – Mark Twain
The banging and slamming and booming and crashing were something beyond belief. On Lohengrin – Mark Twain
She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. – Mark Twain
Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. Its like feeding a dog on his own tail. It wont fatten the dog. – Mark Twain
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. – Mark Twain
Often, the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it. – Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isnt. – Mark Twain
Why shouldnt truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. – Mark Twain
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it aint so. – Mark Twain
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isnt. – Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you dont have to remember anything. – Mark Twain
Its no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. – Mark Twain
Substitute damn every time youre inclined to write very your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. – Mark Twain
The finest clothing made is a persons own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. – Mark Twain
The Christians Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. – Mark Twain
What a wee little part of a persons life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. – Mark Twain
