I guess if people couldnt profit from war I dont think there would be war. – Lily Tomlin
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, youre still a rat. – Lily Tomlin
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. Its the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. – Lily Tomlin
Why is it that when we talk to God were said to be praying but when God talks to us were schizophrenic? – Lily Tomlin
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about whats current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all. – Lily Tomlin
Dont be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. – Lily Tomlin
Were all in this alone. – Lily Tomlin
Remember were all in this alone. – Lily Tomlin
The road to success is always under construction. – Lily Tomlin
But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money. – Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination. – Lily Tomlin
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? – Lily Tomlin
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. – Lily Tomlin
The best mind-altering drug is the truth. – Lily Tomlin
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? – Lily Tomlin
For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. – Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. – Lily Tomlin
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. – Lily Tomlin
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. – Lily Tomlin
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library? – Lily Tomlin
