Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. – Ambrose Bierce
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows. – Ambrose Bierce
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion. – Ambrose Bierce
Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron – namely, that he is a blockhead. – Ambrose Bierce
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead. – Ambrose Bierce
Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country. – Ambrose Bierce
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. – Ambrose Bierce
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others. – Ambrose Bierce
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. – Ambrose Bierce
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue. – Ambrose Bierce
Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while. – Ambrose Bierce
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills. – Ambrose Bierce
Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. – Ambrose Bierce
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt. – Ambrose Bierce
Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of. – Ambrose Bierce
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. – Ambrose Bierce
Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. – Ambrose Bierce
The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge. – Ambrose Bierce
Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge. – Ambrose Bierce
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. – Ambrose Bierce
