Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. – Ambrose Bierce
A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. – Ambrose Bierce
A man is known by the company he organizes. – Ambrose Bierce
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection. – Ambrose Bierce
The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. – Ambrose Bierce
Deliberation. The act of examining ones bread to determine which side it is buttered on. – Ambrose Bierce
Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire. – Ambrose Bierce
A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success. – Ambrose Bierce
Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. – Ambrose Bierce
Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffections failure to substitute misrule for bad government. – Ambrose Bierce
Admiration; is our polite recognition of anothers resemblance to ourselves. – Ambrose Bierce
A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. – Ambrose Bierce
Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. – Ambrose Bierce
Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw. – Ambrose Bierce
Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. – Ambrose Bierce
Laughter — An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable. – Ambrose Bierce
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke. – Ambrose Bierce
Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he cant find you. – Ambrose Bierce
An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools. – Ambrose Bierce
Historian. A broad — gauge gossip. – Ambrose Bierce
