Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country. – Ambrose Bierce
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. – Ambrose Bierce
Take not Gods name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. – Ambrose Bierce
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. – Ambrose Bierce
Whenever somebody says they need an angle for their story I always fear that theyve got an idea and they want me to fit into it or they want me to come up with an idea myself or Im supposed to be more revealing than Ive been, and to me it just sounds like something I dont want to do. – David Duchovny