The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. – Dave Barry
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. – Dave Barry
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War. – Dave Barry
The Constitution of the United States of America, Article V, Section 1: There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit without risk of hernia. – Dave Barry