Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down. – Dave Barry
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. – Dave Barry
It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money. – Dave Barry
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. – Dave Barry
Since September 11, security has been increased everywhere, and we have new IDs to get on to the Fox lot. I drove to the security gate, but realized Id left my ID in my other car. I just broke into that voice – Hey, man, Im Bart Simpson. Who else sounds like this? The guard waved me through. – Nancy Cartwright