Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month I can be myself. – Roseanne Barr
I know how to do anything, Im a mom. – Roseanne Barr
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then theres my personal favorite, the male ego. – Roseanne Barr
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, Ive done my job. – Roseanne Barr
I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, Ive done my job. – Roseanne Barr
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When youre feeling festive? – Roseanne Barr
Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself. – Roseanne Barr
Take this marriage thing seriously – it has to last all the way to the divorce. – Roseanne Barr
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel. – Roseanne Barr
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on. – Roseanne Barr
The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. – Roseanne Barr
