Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month I can be myself. – Roseanne Barr
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then theres my personal favorite, the male ego. – Roseanne Barr
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When youre feeling festive? – Roseanne Barr
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on. – Roseanne Barr
I think theres a lot projected on beautiful women, period. At least, maybe this is just my fear, but I do sometimes feel dismissed before Ive even been allowed to participate. I have moments of feeling really wounded. But I am pretty optimistic, and I do enjoy a lot of my life. – Shalom Harlow