Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When youre feeling festive? – Roseanne Barr
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then theres my personal favorite, the male ego. – Roseanne Barr
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month I can be myself. – Roseanne Barr
Take this marriage thing seriously – it has to last all the way to the divorce. – Roseanne Barr
For so long as the Jew has even one ally, he will be convinced – in his smallness of mind – that his salvation came from that ally. It is only when he is alone – against all of his own efforts and frantic attempts – that he will, through no choice, be compelled to turn to G-d. – Meir Kahane