A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then theres my personal favorite, the male ego. – Roseanne Barr
Take this marriage thing seriously – it has to last all the way to the divorce. – Roseanne Barr
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on. – Roseanne Barr
Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself. – Roseanne Barr
I quickly learned what many Sunday widows already realized — that football is not a game but a religion, a metaphysical island of fundamental truth in a highly verbal, disguised society, a throwback of 30,000 generations of anthropological time. – Arnold J. Mandell, “A Psychiatric Study of Professional Football,” 1974 [An inte