Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame. – Mark Twain
A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. – Mark Twain
The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way. – Mark Twain
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. – Mark Twain
The rules of punctuation seem arbitrary. How can they not, when an apostrophe looks like nothing in this world so much as a comma that can’t keep its feet on the ground? Or when, by simply placing next to that wafting comma its twin, one creates (of all things) a quotation mark? – Richard Lederer and John Shore, Comma Sense: A Fun-damental Guide to Punctuation