I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. – Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. – Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. – Mark Twain
It is not best that we should all think alike it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races. – Mark Twain
After listening to a lecture on evolution by a science professor, a student wrote a poem and titled it The Amazing Professor. The poem read: Once I was a tadpole when I began to begin. Then I was a frog with my tail tucked in. Next I was a monkey on a coconut tree. Now I am a doctor with a Ph.D. – Source Unknown