To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Whos your real friend? Its the person who tells you the truth. Thats who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that. – Bill Maher
Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the will of the people goes out the window. – Bill Maher
The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I dont know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, Ive got one question: What color is the red phone? – Bill Maher
Things arent right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade? – Bill Maher
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I dont need. – Bill Maher
Lets face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him? – Bill Maher
Suicide is mans way of telling God, You cant fire me – I quit. – Bill Maher
What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country. – Bill Maher
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder. – Bill Maher
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies. – Bill Maher
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws? – Bill Maher
I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again. – Bill Maher
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. – Bill Maher
This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution. – Bill Maher
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. – Bill Maher
Men are only as loyal as their options. – Bill Maher
If you think you have it tough, read history books. – Bill Maher
We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities. – Bill Maher
