Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. – Ambrose Bierce
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freemans power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country. – Ambrose Bierce
Laughter — An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable. – Ambrose Bierce
Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook. – Ambrose Bierce