Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. – Ambrose Bierce
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization. – Ambrose Bierce
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke. – Ambrose Bierce
Enthusiasm – a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience. – Ambrose Bierce