Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. – Ambrose Bierce
Deliberation. The act of examining ones bread to determine which side it is buttered on. – Ambrose Bierce
Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. – Ambrose Bierce
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it. – Ambrose Bierce