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Quotes by

Adam Carolla

When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldnt imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If Im gone for six days it feels like too much. – Adam Carolla

You dont realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. Its a card you get so you can navigate society. – Adam Carolla

People look at me, and they go, Youre white, youre smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money. – Adam Carolla

I dont think healthcares a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is. – Adam Carolla

Alls the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way. – Adam Carolla

Maybe Im delusional but Im usually funny. Its not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average. – Adam Carolla

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, theyd be off TV. Theyre not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think wed know who she was? – Adam Carolla

Its funny when youre a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything. – Adam Carolla

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash thats out of this world. Ill give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesnt have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food. – Adam Carolla

I dont have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other. – Adam Carolla

I dont know anything about computers. – Adam Carolla

I swear my car wont run unless Im picking my nose: At least, Im that superstitious about it, so I dont want to take any chances. – Adam Carolla

I think were getting to the point where everyones getting fat and everyones getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people cant walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps. – Adam Carolla

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and youll have a good life. – Adam Carolla

The very definition of beauty is outside. – Adam Carolla

I didnt have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age. – Adam Carolla

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing. – Adam Carolla

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor. – Adam Carolla

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future. – Adam Carolla

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials. – Adam Carolla