I think were getting to the point where everyones getting fat and everyones getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people cant walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps. – Adam Carolla
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, theyd be off TV. Theyre not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think wed know who she was? – Adam Carolla
Maybe Im delusional but Im usually funny. Its not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average. – Adam Carolla
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor. – Adam Carolla
Every summer my husband and I pack our suitcases, load our kids into the car, and drive from tense, crowded New York City to my familys cottage in Maine. Its on an island, with stretches of sea and sandy beaches, rocky coasts, and pine trees. We barbecue, swim, lie around, and try to do nothing. – Hope Davis