I think were getting to the point where everyones getting fat and everyones getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people cant walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps. – Adam Carolla
If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and youll have a good life. – Adam Carolla
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, theyd be off TV. Theyre not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think wed know who she was? – Adam Carolla
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine. – Adam Carolla
A lot of the songs start with an image. I was sitting there playing the guitar and I pictured this old, dirty green car, with the window rolled down, in the hot, hot, hot Texas heat, and this beautiful woman I knew when I was a kid sitting behind the wheel, looking out at me. – Edie Brickell
Im frightened of eggs, worse than frightened, they revolt me. That white round thing without any holes have you ever seen anything more revolting than an egg yolk breaking and spilling its yellow liquid? Blood is jolly, red. But egg yolk is yellow, revolting. Ive never tasted it. – Alfred Hitchcock