If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. – Erma Bombeck
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. – Erma Bombeck
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. – Erma Bombeck
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. Youre not out of it until the computer says youre out of it. – Erma Bombeck