If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. – Erma Bombeck
When God was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. An angel nearby said, What kind of father is that? If you – Erma Bombeck
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. – Erma Bombeck
I do not like football, which I think of as a game in which two tractors approach each other from opposite directions and collide. Besides, I have contempt for a game in which players have to wear so much equipment. Men play basketball in their underwear, which seems just right to me. – Anna Quindlen, Living Out Loud, 1988