People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. – Dave Barry
The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesnt have eyeballs or fins. – Dave Barry
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. – Dave Barry