People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. – Dave Barry
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The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished and put inside boxes. – Dave Barry
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To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. – Dave Barry
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