People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry
The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter. – Dave Barry
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. – Dave Barry
I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories. – Dave Barry