People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry
The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter. – Dave Barry
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. – Dave Barry
I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford. – Dave Barry