No one is listening until you fart. - Author Unknown

No one is listening until you fart. – Author Unknown

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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. – Will Rogers

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Self-Checkout Line – The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment. – Richard Turner (1937–2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. “The Mudge,” fr

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There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter. – Bat Masterson

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Perfume: any smell that is used to drown out a worse one. – Elbert Hubbard

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I mean, sometimes… a comedian becomes an actor, and they just dont deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or dont even notice that thats the thing. – Eddie Izzard

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