There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece. – Dave Barry
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough…. I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding. – Dave Barry
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. – Dave Barry
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. – Dave Barry
I am convinced that the world is not a mere bog in which men and women trample themselves and die. Something magnificent is taking place here amidst the cruelties and tragedies, and the supreme challenge to intelligence is that of making the noblest and best in our curious heritage prevail. – Charles Austin Beard