I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. – Elayne Boosler
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? – Elayne Boosler
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didnt have that rule when Jesus was born. – Elayne Boosler
My mom used to make everything. She had a great garden and composted and made everything from scratch – peanut butter, bread, jelly, everything. I dont know how she did it because all those things take time and love and labour. I only do half the stuff she does – but theres still time. – Julia Roberts