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Quote by Elayne Boosler
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock ev

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. – Elayne Boosler

Other quotes by Elayne Boosler

Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont think somethings wrong with me. – Elayne Boosler

Category:
funny
Author
Elayne Boosler
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Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. Theres nothing more satisfying. – Elayne Boosler

Category:
Home
Author
Elayne Boosler
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Other Quotes from
Humorous
category

If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. – John Kenneth Galbraith, Money: Whence It Came, Where It Went

Category:
Humorous

Today is the last day of some of your life. – Author Unknown

Category:
Humorous

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes. – Douglas Adams

Category:
Humorous

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. – Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Category:
Humorous

Random Quotes

Ideas are only lethal if you suppress and dont discuss them. Ignorance is not bliss, its stupid. Banning books shows you dont trust your kids to think and you dont trust yourself to be able to talk to them. – Anna Quindlen

Category:
Trust

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. – Chili Davis

Category:
Birthday

Don’t you love quotations? I am immensely fond of them; a certain proof of erudition…. [I]f you should happen to write an insipid poem… send it to me, and my fiat shall crown you with immortality. – Frances Brooke, Lady Julia Mandeville , 1763

Category:
Quotations

I am dumb when it comes to learning dance steps. – Mia Kirshner

Category:
Learning