Wouldnt it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers? – Elayne Boosler
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. Its a whole different way of thinking. – Elayne Boosler
Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont think somethings wrong with me. – Elayne Boosler
Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. Theres nothing more satisfying. – Elayne Boosler