Quote by Artemus Ward
Did you ever have the measles, and if so, how many? - Artemus Ward

Did you ever have the measles, and if so, how many? – Artemus Ward

Other quotes by Artemus Ward
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Other Quotes from
Humorous
category

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. – Author Unknown

Category:
Humorous

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid. – Jack Benny

Category:
Humorous

Someone has said: “A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.” – Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962), quoted from a physiology lecture by his Uni

Category:
Humorous

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. – Rita Mae Brown

Category:
Humorous

Random Quotes

Make time for quiet moments, as God whispers and the world is loud. – Author Unknown

Category:
Silence

A revival does two things. First, it returns the Church from her backsliding and second, it causes the conversion of men and women and it always includes the conviction of sin on the part of the Church. What a spell the devil seems to cast over the Church today! – Billy Sunday

Category:
Women
[W]e must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie…. It casts out stress as the heat of the hand repels quicksilver…. Keep you your precious vapors, your fantods, your anxiety. Give me a pie. Give me a pie anyday. – David Mamet, Boston Marriage

Category:
Desserts

If a cat does something, we call it instinct if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence. – Will Cuppy

Category:
Intelligence