These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. – Sam Snead
Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt. – Jack Nicklaus, why he tees his ball high
Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result. – Tommy Armour
Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, “Will you look at that golf path?Pure pea gravel.” – Jeff Cesario
Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five. – Paul Harvey
One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water. – Lee Trevino, describing how he was one under during a tournament
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. – Tiger Woods
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it. – Robin Williams, 1986
There are two things you can do with your head down — play golf and pray. – Lee Trevino
Golf is hockey at the halt. – Arthur Marshall, 1985
[Golf] is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture. – Winston Churchill
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. – Ernest Hemingway
One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball. – Don Carter
A “gimme” can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well. – Author Unknown
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf. – Jack Benny
Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well. – Art Rosenbaum
Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward. – Ken Venturi, on Art Rosenbaum
Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards? – Al Boliska
Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off. – Chi Chi Rodriguez
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. – Billy Graham
