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Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and

Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward. – Ken Venturi, on Art Rosenbaum

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Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. – P.G. Wodehouse, A Mixed Threesome, 1922

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Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, “Will you look at that golf path?Pure pea gravel.” – Jeff Cesario

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Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that. – Jim Murray

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A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors. – Barry Fitzgerald, Going My Way

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