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Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and

Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward. – Ken Venturi, on Art Rosenbaum

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Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. – Huxtable Pippey

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The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1975

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