Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child.& Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. – John Updike
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf. – Robert Lynd
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad. – A.A. Milne
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. – P.G. Wodehouse, A Mixed Threesome, 1922
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course — the distance between your ears. – Bobby Jones
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1975
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. – Paul Gallico
Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. – Author Unknown
Forget your opponents; always play against par. – Sam Snead
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. – Horace G. Hutchinson (1859-1932)
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. – Will Rogers
What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive. – Arnold Palmer
A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood. – Author unknown, variation of a famous non-golf quotation by Samuel Johnson “It i
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles. – G.K. Chesterton
If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. – Joey Adams
Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one. – Martha Beckman
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. – Author Unknown
In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base. – Ken Harrelson
Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967
If your opponent is playing several shots in vain attempts to extricate himself from a bunker, do not stand near him and audibly count his strokes. It would be justifiable homicide if he wound up his pitiable exhibition by applying his niblick to your head. – Harry Vardon
