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If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. – Horace G. Hutchinson (1859-1932)

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Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose. – Woodrow Wilson

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Yeah, after each of my downhill putts. – Homero Blancas, asked if he had any uphill putts

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Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards? – Al Boliska

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One almost expects one of the players to peer into the monitor and politely request viewers to refrain from munching so loudly on cheese and crackers while the golfers are trying to reach the greens. – Pete Alfano

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