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If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. – Horace G. Hutchinson (1859-1932)

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If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using “an outside agency” and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf. – Henry Longhurst

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My body is here, but my mind has already teed off. – Author Unknown

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They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were taken. – Raymond Floyd

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Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, “Will you look at that golf path?Pure pea gravel.” – Jeff Cesario

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