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Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a mi

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967

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A “gimme” can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well. – Author Unknown

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The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life. – Chi Chi Rodriguez

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Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything. – Michael Bamberger

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