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Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a mi

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967

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The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1975

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If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. – Paul Gallico

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Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. – Huxtable Pippey

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My body is here, but my mind has already teed off. – Author Unknown

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