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Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a mi

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967

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One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water. – Lee Trevino, describing how he was one under during a tournament

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Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course — the distance between your ears. – Bobby Jones

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Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. – Huxtable Pippey

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These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. – Sam Snead

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