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Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a mi

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967

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You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life. – Grantland Rice

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One almost expects one of the players to peer into the monitor and politely request viewers to refrain from munching so loudly on cheese and crackers while the golfers are trying to reach the greens. – Pete Alfano

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The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1975

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Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose. – Woodrow Wilson

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