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Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a mi

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. – Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967

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Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists. – Heywood Hale Broun

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These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. – Sam Snead

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A “gimme” can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well. – Author Unknown

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Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result. – Tommy Armour

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