Rodney Dangerfield – Page 2

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend. – Rodney Dangerfield

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. – Rodney Dangerfield

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. – Rodney Dangerfield

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. – Rodney Dangerfield

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. – Rodney Dangerfield

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. – Rodney Dangerfield

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. – Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, “Look, twins!” – Rodney Dangerfield

I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out. – Rodney Dangerfield