My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. – Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, “Look, twins!” – Rodney Dangerfield

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. – Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, “Look, twins!” – Rodney Dangerfield
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – were doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. – Rodney Dangerfield
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages. – Rodney Dangerfield
We talked about many issues, like welfare, is it the way of life or hand up? Talked about size of government, how much should it tax families and small businesses? And when we left that lunch, we got in the car and I looked over at Chuck and said, Ill be damned. were Republicans. – Susana Martinez