My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. – Rodney Dangerfield
With my wife I dont get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to the best woman a man ever had. The waiter joined me. – Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out. – Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. – Rodney Dangerfield
Ooh, its too embarrassing to share my innermost romantic secrets – although I have written Danielle the odd poem. If anything they are more comedic than romantic. They used to be well-received but that was before she started studying Shakespeare at drama college. Now I feel so inept. – Gary Lineker