My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home. – Rodney Dangerfield
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. – Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, “Look, twins!” – Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. – Rodney Dangerfield
Im from a small town so, like, everyones married with children or about to have children. So its a little hard when you go home and people are like – and thats why people think Im gay – because theyre like Why arent you married? And Im like, it doesnt happen for everyone right off the bat. – Kelly Clarkson
The thing about being at home versus being out in the world working is, its a whole different vibe. When Im home with my kids and partner, I will cook – even though shes a very good cook. Shes learned over the years. We started with basics, you know, how to saute onions, how to saute mushrooms. – Cat Cora