I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. – Rodney Dangerfield
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – were doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. – Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. – Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. – Rodney Dangerfield
Opponents of capital punishment argue that the state has no right to take a murderers life. Apparently, one fact that abolitionists forget or overlook is that the state is acting not only on behalf of society, but also on behalf of the murdered person and the murdered persons family. – Dennis Prager