I dont need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled. – Paula Poundstone
Im thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going. – Paula Poundstone
Im thankful for Sarah Palins vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California. – Paula Poundstone
My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, Mom, they werent trying to teach you how to swim. – Paula Poundstone
I used to watch The Waltons and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family. – Paula Poundstone
I have a very silly sense of humor. Ive never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. – Paula Poundstone
I dont have a bank account because I dont know my mothers maiden name. – Paula Poundstone
Im thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. – Paula Poundstone
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, its just sort of a tired feeling. – Paula Poundstone
The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. – Paula Poundstone
