The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. – Paula Poundstone
Im thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. – Paula Poundstone
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, its just sort of a tired feeling. – Paula Poundstone
I have a very silly sense of humor. Ive never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. – Paula Poundstone