Im thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. – Paula Poundstone
The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. – Paula Poundstone
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, its just sort of a tired feeling. – Paula Poundstone
I dont have a bank account because I dont know my mothers maiden name. – Paula Poundstone
I know who my dad is, Ive met him a few times, but I dont even call him dad. I know it sounds horrible, but I dont even see him as part of my family, to be honest. If you want the truth, it doesnt bother me because I dont know any different. I just know that me and my mum, that was my family. – Sally Pearson