Logo
Quote by Paula Poundstone
Im thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhe

Im thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. – Paula Poundstone

Other quotes by Paula Poundstone

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, Mom, they werent trying to teach you how to swim. – Paula Poundstone

Category:
mom
Author
Paula Poundstone
Read Quote

I used to watch The Waltons and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family. – Paula Poundstone

Category:
Humor
Author
Paula Poundstone
Read Quote
Other Quotes from
funny
category

The IRS! Theyre like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! – Jerry Seinfeld

Category:
funny

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? – James Thurber

Category:
funny

If you cant tell a spoon from a ladle, then youre fat! – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming. – Demetri Martin

Category:
funny

Random Quotes

Everywhere the human soul stands between a hemisphere of light and another of darkness on the confines of two everlasting hostile empires, — Necessity and Free Will. – Thomas Carlyle, Essays, “The Opera”

Category:
Freedom

There is always the danger that we may just do the work for the sake of the work. This is where the respect and the love and the devotion come in – that we do it to God, to Christ, and thats why we try to do it as beautifully as possible. – Mother Teresa

Category:
God

I think we have to believe in things we dont see. Thats really important for all of us, whether its your religion or Santa Claus, or whatever. Thats pretty much what its about. – James Caan

Category:
Religion

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. – Ambrose Bierce

Category:
Dental