My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, Mom, they werent trying to teach you how to swim. – Paula Poundstone
I have a very silly sense of humor. Ive never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. – Paula Poundstone
Im thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going. – Paula Poundstone
I used to watch The Waltons and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family. – Paula Poundstone
Mom spent the time that she was supposed to be a kid actully raising children, her younger brother and younger sister. She was tough as nails and did not suffer fools at all. And the truth was she could not afford to. She spoke the truth, bluntly, directly, and without much varnish. I am her son. – Chris Christie