The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, its just sort of a tired feeling. – Paula Poundstone
The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. – Paula Poundstone
My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, Mom, they werent trying to teach you how to swim. – Paula Poundstone
I have a very silly sense of humor. Ive never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. – Paula Poundstone